A wannan rubutu namu zamuyi kokarin kawo matsaloli da banbance banbance da ake samu a tsakanin mace da namiji da kuwa hanyoyi dazasubi wajen gane junansu da gyara soyayyarsu. rashin gane wannan banbance banbancene yasa mata ke cewa namjij ba dan goyobane da kalamai de irin wannan. to in kuka biyomu zuwa karshe munyi kokarin tattaro duka bayanai daga gun ma aurata da suke fuskanta da kuma yadda akabi wajen magance wannan matsala. ga dan kadan daga cikin matsalolin da muka tattauna a wannan rubutu namu.
1. Rashin iya kwalliya ko rashin kayan kwalliyar wanda ba mijinta ko yayanta ko kaninta ya taimaka mataba.
2.Al adar banza wadda duk muka kasa gyarawa, duka maza da mata basa iya kwalliya su zauna a cikin gida saidai in za aje biki ko daurin aure, da an dawo gida sai a tubesu.
3. Rashin tattauna matsaloli a tsakani lokaci lokaci, ya zamo duk sati 2 ko wata kuna zama kowa ya fadawa dan uwansa abinda yakeso ya gyara.
4. Rashin iya sarrafa abinci
Mata da maza sun manta da banbancin dake tsakaninsu na tunani. Sabida dukansu sunasan dayan jinsin yaso abinda sukeso, nazari irin yadda suke, da kuma jin abinda sukeji.misali na farko.
1. Su maza suna komawa gefe su kadai dan suyi tunanin abinda ke damunsu, su kuma mata sunfiso suyi maganar abinda yake damunsu da wani.
2. Maza sunfijin suyi taimako in aka nunamusu ana bukatarsu, su kuma mata sunfijin suyi taimako in
Kowace shekara maza da mata na aure dan soyayya daga baya sai su rabu sabida sun rasa wannan soyayyar, kaso dayawa kuma suna zaman hakuri basu rabuba amma babu soyayyar, kadanne suke iya sa love ya girma, hakan yana faruwa in masoyan suna bawa juna respect kuma sun yadda da banbancinsu hakan zai taimaka wajen bawa juna soyayyar da yakamata.
Yawancin matsalan da mata ke badawa akan maza shine "maza basa saurararmu"kode yaki saurararta kwata kwata ko kuma yadan saurari kadan yayi kokarin gayamata abinda yakamata tayi dan yayemata damuwa, ita kuma mace ba haka takeso ba, sai namiji ya rasa yadda zaiwa lamarin sabida bata nuna godiyar abinda yakeyi akai. Zatai ta fadamai baya sauraranta shi kuma zai ta ci gaba da gayamata abinda zatayi.sabida a gunsa haka love yake, daga ya fadamata abinda zatayi ita kuma ta cigaba da fushi sai ya daina saurarar ta sabida hakan ya nuna kamar baida amfani. Matsalar shine ita mace tafiso namiji ya saurareta ya kuma nuna ya damu da abinda take fada, ita burinta kenan bawai a gayamata abinda zatayi ba. shi isa ake samun matsala tsakanin ma aurata kowa bai gane yadda dayan jinsin yake ba. In mace na fadamaka damuwarta ka saurara duk rashin dadin abin ka nuna damuwarka sannan karkayi kokarin fadamata abinda zatayi inde ba ita ta ta tambayaba.
Yawancin matsalar da maza ke badawa akan mata shine" matarsa ta dage sai ta canza yadda nake lamurana". In mace tana kaunar namiji to tana daukan cewa yakamata ta taimakeshi ya girma ta kuma taimakeshi wajen tafiyar da al amuransa. Duk yadda namiji yakai da rashin san taimakon matar, ita kuma zatayi ta jiran wani abun da zaisa ta taimakeshi ko ta fadamai abinda zaiyi. Zatayi tayin haka shi kuma zai tagani cewa tana juyashi. In mata basu gane yadda namiji yakeji ba hakan na jawo matsala sosai a aure. Namiji bayasan mace tana fadamai abinda zaiyi sabida shi agunsa tana nunamasa bazai iyaba, yafiso yana maganin matsalolinsa dakansa kuma shi namiji yafisan mace tana yarda dashi.
A duniyar mata su nuna taimako ga wani shine zaisa dayar taji ta nunamata kauna, mata sun yadda cewa abu mai kyua yana iya karayin kyua, love agunsu shine bada shawarwari. A duniyar maza kuma gayawa mutun abinda zaiyi ko bashi shawara nasashi rashin jin dadi ko ragwanci.
Misalai daya faru ga ma aurata.
1. Wani mutun zasu abuja da matarsa, shi keyin tuki sai suka rasa wane titi zasubi yayi ta zuwa yana dawowa, sai matar taga akamun sun rasa hanya, sai tacemai ya kira wani ya tambayeshi, sai yayi shiru ya kyaleta, har yakaisu abuja. Sai matar taga fuskarsa ta canza yajin haushi. Ita agunta tana nufin ina kaunarka shi isa na fadama yadda zakayi. Shi kuma agunsa wannan kamar tana nufin cewa ban yadda zaka iya kaimu canba. Anan gun matar bai kamata ta fadamai abinda zaiyi ba, sai tayi shiru inde bashine ya tambayetaba. In namiji yayi watsi da mafitar da matarsa ta bayar zata dauka baidamu da itaba amma intasan banbance bance tsakanin jinsin za a zauna lafiya.
2. Wata mata ta dawo daga aiki a gajiye. Tanasan mijinta ya saurareta. Sai tace abubuwa sunyi yawa banida lokacin kaina.
Sai mijin yace tadaina aikin zaifi ba dole sai tana aikin mai yawaba. Sai tace inasan aiki na, so suke sai na canza a lokaci daya, mijin yakara cewa karki sauraresu kiyi iya abinda zaki iya, matar tace gashi na manta bankira kanwar mamana ba, mijin yakara cewa kina damuwa sosai shi isa kike cikin damuwa, matar tace ba a cikin damuwa nake ba, zaka iya saurarata, mijin yace ai sauraranki nake sai tayi fishi ranta ya baci sosai akan yadda ta dawo gidan. Shima mijin yaji haushi sabida baiga abinda yayi ba dede ba. Baisan iya sauraronta takeso yayiba ba tare da bada mafita ba saidai in ita ta tambayi mafitar. Anan koyan saurarar mace nada matukar muhimmanci a zamantakewa.
Banbancin namiji da mace in suka gaji
Daya ne daga cikin manyan matsalolin da mace da namiji suke fuskanta wajen zamantakewa. Shi namiji yanasan ya nutsu yayi tunanin matsalolinsa ko yayi abinda zaisahi ya mance dasu ita kuma tanasan tasamu wanda zai saurareta. Rashin sanin wannan banbanci na jawo matsala a zamantakewa. Misali
Mai gida ya dawo a gajiye yanasan hutawa ko yayi wani abu dazai mantar dashi matsalarsa ta yau kamar su karatin jarida, kallo, game, dasauransu. Ita kuma uwar gida ta gaji da aikace aikace tanaso ta samu sukuni ta hanyar bawa mai gida labarin matsalolinta, to anan sai damuwa tafara girma, shi mai gida zai dinga tunanin matarshi ta fiye surutu ita kuma matar zataji bayasan kulata. Da rashin sanin wannan ilimin sai yasa mijin yayi ta tunanin matarsa tacika surutu sai yayi takin sauraranta, ita kuma rashin sanin cewa yana karanta jarida dinne dan yadanji dama dama sai tayi ta tunanin bayasanmata magana ne, zatayi ta kokarin sai ya mata magana yayinda shikuma bayasan cewa komai.mata nada hakkin a sauraresu haka namiji nada hakkin yayi shiru yaki magana dan tunanin matsalolinsa. Gane wannan banbancin zai karamusu fahimtar junansu da kuma yadda zasu taimaki kansu.
Mu koma muji yadda maza ke shawo kan matsalar haushi da gajiya.
In namiji yanajin haushi ko yana fama da matsala baya damuwa daya fadawa wani namijin saidai in yazama dole yin hakan zai kawo karshen matsalar. Ya gwammace ya zauna shi kadai yayi ta tunani akai, inyasamu mafita shikenan sai ya dawo normal, inkuma yakasa sai yanayin abinda zai daukemai hankali irinsu game, newspaper, kallo, Dasauransu. Maza na magana ne in suna dora lefi kan wani ko nenan shawara. A wannan lokaci in an sameshi dan tattauna wani abu zuciyarsa kaso 5% zata kasance tare da mutun sauran 95% kuma sunacan gun aiki dan samun mafitar matsalarsa. Yawanci maza basa sanin yadda suke gudar kowa lokacin da suke cikin wannan hali, da maza zasu gane hakan daya taimaka musu wajen kulawa da abokan zamansu musammam mata zaifi basu respect da kulawa duk da halin dayake ciki.
Ga misalai da namiji ke kare kansa dasu har suyi ta musu da mace
1. In matar tace baka jina, sai yace wane irin banajinki, zan iya fadamiki duk abinda kikace tun daga farko zuwa karshe. Namiji yakan iya sa wannan kaso 5% din dan ya saurari mace, saidai ita duka take bukatarsa.
2. In tace masa kamar baka nan, sai yace kamarya bayanan batin gashi a zaune tana gani, ita a gunta tana nufi baibata duka hankalinsa ba.
3. In tace mai kamar baka damu dani ba, ko ni ba komai bace a gunka, sai yace na damu mana, gashi ina zaune ina kokarin samarmiki mafita. Ita tana nufin ya nuna zuciyartasa tana tare da ita.
A mata kuwa daban ne da yadda suke shawo kan matsalarsu, suna neman wadda suka yadda da ita dan tattauna matsalar,tanaso tayi maganar matsalar data faru, wadda zata faru, matsala da bata da mafita, matsala karama ko babba, intayi hakan takan samu sukuni. Gayawa juna mtsaloli shine ke nuna yadda da kuma soyayya a gunsu. Da mata zasu gane wannan banbancin tsakaninsu da maza da zaitaimaka mata wajen sanin lokacin da mijinta baida control sosai, lokacin da bazai iya bada soyayarsa ba, zasufi karbarsa a yadda yake
© Sirrinrikemiji
Post a Comment